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Jan 24
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Goals and Choices

By Blogpost, Goals, habits

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Every single action you take, and every single action you don’t take, is a choice. So when you get down to it, the process of achieving your goals is just a series of choices.
 

We often think that we don’t have choices about certain things that are out of our control. Well, sure we do. We can choose how to react. We can choose how the situation is going to make us feel. We can choose to be the victim, or we can choose to learn and become stronger.
 

Take a look at your goals all the way from top to bottom: from the moment of achievement to where you are right now. And right now, based on the time line you’ve set for yourself, based on the intermediate goals and the sometimes mundane and boring-as-hell things you have to do along the way, realize that you have choices. You can choose a happy, enthusiastic attitude that makes even boring, repetitive tasks enjoyable. Or, you can choose to view them as drudgery. Which attitude is going to move you toward your goal? You can choose to do the things that make you shake in your boots with fear. Or, you can choose to take the easy route and give up. These are obvious choices.
 

But keep in mind, we do a lot of things by habit. They’re the actions (or thoughts!) that we’ve done or thought a zillion times. They’re so much a part of us that we don’t use any conscious thought at all and we still manage to get them done, the same way as always, while our brain is engaged with other things. Seriously – think about how you towel off when you get out of the shower. It’s exactly the same order of body parts, every time! Or when you sit down to work: you have a little ritual, and you probably don’t even know it. Do you start working without checking your email? Can you start working without that hot cup of coffee in front of you? When you think about something that worries you, your thoughts also follow very predictable, tried-and-true patterns. The thing is, even though these actions and thoughts are so habitual they’re subconscious now, they are still choices.
 

So it’s a good idea to examine just how you do things, and how you think, for a day or two. You may find that certain habits are actually counterproductive. And even though you do them without even thinking about them, you have the choice to take control and do things (or think) according to the best interests of your goals! Try towelling off a totally different way tomorrow. Try mixing up the order in which you do things at work. Bring awareness to what you do.
 

If you *have* to check your email before you start work, tell yourself, “I’ll check my email in one hour.” And then dive in and get to work. One hour isn’t critical, in the grand scheme of things and you can accomplish a LOT if you focus for an hour. Of course if your goal requires time-sensitive actions based on critical information you receive via email, then this example doesn’t apply to you – unless you also spend time on personal emails while you could be working on your goal!
 

One great trick to become aware of how you do things is pretend you’re observing yourself – as if you are an alien beamed down here from a far-away galaxy – and become fascinated with what this strange creature (you) is doing. The observer you (the alien) might say, “Wow, he always sips his coffee three times before he puts the cup down! How interesting that she always puts her left shoe on first! I wonder why he has to completely organize his desk every single day – what’s he looking for so urgently, every single morning? Why does she always do the easy stuff first and leave the hard stuff for later in the day when she’s tired?” I know, this seems like a silly game, but the more aware you are of your habits, the more you can change them if they interfere with your goal-achieving.
 

You have a choice – as with everything. The blue socks, or the black socks? The 10-minute phone call to a potential client, or 10 minutes on Facebook? The cheesecake or the sorbet? Ask yourself if your choices are getting you to where you want to go.
 

Inspired by a blog by Frank Purdy at www.goal-setting-for-success.com.

Jan 15
Love0

6 tips to create your habits faster and longer lasting!

By Blogpost, habits
Habit

 

The quickest and most effective way to create positive change is to develop positive habits in your life, which will result in achieving your goals faster!

Wikipedia explains “A habit is the process by which a behavior becomes habitual. As behaviors are repeated in a consistent context, there is an incremental increase in the link between the context and the action. This increases the automaticity of the behavior in that context.”

Let’s look at some positive habits you may want to create. From exercising daily, drinking more water, keeping track of your spending, or even reading more! The list is endless – all depends on what your outcome is in relations to creating a new habit.

So here are 6 tips that help you create the habits faster and keep them for longer;

1. Make your habit visible.

Identify what habit you initially want to change and make visible your new habit – This might sound simple, but by identifying what habit you want to replace will create awareness and motivation to move away from it and focus on what you want to achieve. Then write down the NEW habit you want to create and POST IT EVERYWHERE… That’s right – everywhere… Shower, fridge, computer, car – even next to the toilet – make it visible, bold and loud. This is so you are reminded each and every time you see it. Bring it to life, bring it into your awareness!!!

 

2. Work in two week blocks

Thinking of doing the same thing over and over (as that is how habits are formed) for long periods of time sounds daunting. Imagine thinking of keep a log book for your spending for the next six months… OMG – no way… But what about for two weeks – a bit more manageable and you can rationalize it in your head. Just think two weeks – no more – at this stage.

3. Rewards and Non Rewards

Now that you are in the mind frame of two weeks, lets increase the motivation even more by creating some pleasure and pain motivators. Pleasure motivators (rewards) is something that you will reward yourself once you complete your habit daily for the first two weeks. Some examples might be a massage, going to the movies, or buying a new piece of clothing. However, on the flip side – Pain motivator (non reward) is something that if you break your habitual activity, then you will have to achieve that, which is usually something that you wouldn’t want to do. Examples of this may include; giving your favorite piece of clothing to charity, washing the bosses car, giving your ex-partner a $100 gift voucher – something that will motivate you NOT to give up and create your habit.

4. Focus on ONE habit at a time.

From the extract from Benjamin Franklin’s “striving for moral perfection” explains the importance on focusing on ONE virtue at a time. This will channel your concentration and take your “normal” focus to “laser” focus to create your new habit.

5. Journal daily and acknowledge yourself.

Keep a diary next to your bed and each night before you go to bed, write down your successes for the day – in particular how many times you did your new habit and what other positive/successful activities did you do that had an impact on your new habit and goals. This will keep your mind in positive spirits, especially just before going to bed.

6. Surround yourself with a supportive team.


Form a mastermind team, join a support group, share your new habit with those who are on the same journey. Report in to them daily or couple times per week to keep yourself accountable and on track. Having the right support team, that motivates you, keeps you accountable, and this will improve your focus, intensity and commitment to form your new habit.

These 6 tips will get you on the road to quickly create new positive habits which will result in a massive difference in your life. Start now and make a list of the new habits you want to create. Enroll others to do the same. Simply retweet this article or share it with your friends. Remember, the more support – the more positive habits can be formed.

Jan 12
Love0

Are you ready for a 30 day weight loss challenge?

By Blogpost, Goals

Did you eat too much over the break?

Still carrying those few extra kilo’s?

Is shedding some pounds part of your New Year Resolutions?

 

Health & fitness is one of the most common goals people set, especially as a New Year’s Resolution.

The most popular health & fitness goal is “weight loss”. From the Biggest Loser TV show, to countless “Latest Diets”, Fat Pills, you name it – the weight loss industry is huge.

The information that is at one’s finger tips is endless. But that is all it is – information. What you do with this information is another thing. As we have mentioned before, setting goals is fantastic, but ACTIONING them is even better!

So – would you be interested in doing a 30day challenge to see if you can shed some extra pudding, burn those love handles, or blast the backside. But, not by yourself – no way – with 19 other motivated, focused, energized, ready to go people like yourself. People who are just like you – wanting to get started, or have started already – but looking for an “A” team to inspire, motivate, celebrate wins, learn from, plus loads more!

Excited yet?

Here is the challenge – jump on to the page http://goalstribe.com/join/loseweight and register your interest. You will then receive our ebook “Getting started – A quick guide in turning dreams into reality” Then once we hit 20 we will launch the tribe and get you going on the road to shedding the kilo’s. Yes, there is an investment – but it’s only $10. Small investment to have the support and motivation of 19 other motivated people.

Who’s in?

If you are one that likes all the details – that’s cool – drop us a line at info@goalstribe.com

Let’s start 2012 healthy, fit, and a few kilo’s lighter…

Jan 03
Love0

A great start in setting goals for 2012

By Blogpost, Goals

Do you want to know why less than 3% of the people in the world set goals and actually achieve them? “I don’t  know how.”

Yes, there is an art to setting goals and it’s not taught until we’re adults! But learning the art of goal setting will change your life. I know, that sounds like a tired old cliche, but it’s simple – if you don’t know what you want, how can you ever get it?

Here’s a short lesson on the art of goal-setting:

1. DREAM BIG. You know, deep inside, what your ideal life looks like. Your dream is there, probably buried under a whole mountain of “reality.” Take some time to write down everything you want to have – everything you want to be – and everything you want to do. Go wild with this! If you don’t plant the seed of possibility, you can be guaranteed that you’ll never reap the fruits. And who’s to say that a tiny seed you plant won’t grow?

2. SLEEP ON IT. Let your list lie dormant for a day, or two, or a week. But think about the things you’ve written. When you come back to the list  it’s with a simple question, the same question for each goal: Why? Why do I want this? If you can’t come up with a reason that makes sense to YOU, cross it off.

3. On the goals that are still left on your list, dig deeper to identify the real reason you want it:

  • Is it really MY goal? Don’t want something just because your neighbors have it. Or because some celebrity is it. Or because your family wants you to do it. Want it because YOU want it.
  • Is it in alignment with the higher good? In other words, is it the right thing to do?
  • Is it consistent with my other goals? Are they all taking you in the same general direction, or are they pulling you in opposite directions?
  • Can I commit to finishing this goal? Can I see it through to success?
  • Can I visualize myself having reached this goal?

If you can answer “yes” to all of these, it’s a worthy goal. Otherwise, cross it off the list.

You’ve narrowed your list to a few important goals. Now narrow it further, to identify the chosen few, the golden goals that really make your heart sing.

4. Dig even deeper for each goal. Will this goal improve your life, the lives of others, and will it make a difference in the world? Don’t feel bad if the Wave Runner isn’t something “that makes a difference in the world” – you’re allowed to have goals that are purely for pleasure (because in purchasing a “toy” you are benefiting the people who sold it, who manufactured it, who designed it, etc.). Essentially, does the goal make you feel good on many levels?

5. Take your goals, no matter their size or scope, and MAKE THEM SPECIFIC. Get down to the little details. Are you still passionate about them? It’s better to have a few detailed, exquisitely thought-out goals than a brain-full of fuzzy dreams.

6. Prioritize your goals in terms of short-range, mid-range and long-range. The ideal situation is for your short-range goals to support your future goals. Some goals are small – they teach you discipline, they boost your confidence, they give you quick gratification. Some goals are the big carrots that get you to grow and reach your highest potential. You may have to juggle your goals, working on some here while letting others sit before returning to them. That’s the art of goal-ACHIEVING, and that’s where I recommend working with a goals coach to help you hone the process.

***
Inspired by Zig Ziglar; blog found on www.goals2go.com

Nov 21
Love0

Work + Goals = Success

By Blogpost, Goals

Setting goals means that at some point you’re going to have to employ the dreaded “w” word – work. Goals don’t just happen. The best thing to do is change your attitude toward work. When work ceases to be “work,” we love it. The other side of this coin is that when laziness ceases to be enjoyable, we come to avoid it.
 
We humans are pleasure-seeking organisms. We always want to have the reward without the work. Unfortunately this is a very strong emotional impulse! It’s easy to give in today – but suffer regret tomorrow by being right where you were yesterday. It’s easy to justify laziness (we can talk ourselves into practically anything!), but if you want great results, you’re going to have to get tough with yourself.

Always remember it’s just as easy to cultivate good habits as it is to cultivate bad habits. The good habits are the ones that move you in the right direction. We (the pleasure seekers) tend to associated good habits with work, and bad habits with pleasure. But I hope you can see how destructive this is.

Think about your goals and get fired up again. Feel the passion. And then, give your goals a whole-assed approach! A half-assed approach means you’re “working” toward your goals by: doing the work that’s easy and fun, but only until you don’t feel like it any more; by justifying putting off certain tasks because you think they’re hard or unpleasant. Well, of course you know I’m going to say this – a half-assed approach is going to get you half-assed results! Engage both cheeks for best results!

  1. Set your standards high. Have some pride in what you do and really rise to your potential. Don’t waste your energy on busywork! Work in short bursts of intense focus rather than slogging through an entire day full of daydreaming, distractions and half-assed efforts.
  2. Do the work that showcases your talents and skills. Delegate the rest and don’t waste time doing things you’re not good at. If you’re a photographer who hates sitting at the computer editing and manipulating images and you think you have to do it all… why? In the long run it’s cheaper to hire someone who loves that sort of thing, so that you can focus your energies on what you love and what you’re good at – taking incredible photographs.
  3. Which brings us to point 3. As much as humanly possible, do what you love. Do a little more of what you love this week than you did last week. And next week, do a little more than you did this week. Ever notice that doing what you love doesn’t feel like work, even if it’s mentally or physically extremely demanding? It’s fun, right?
  4. Keep raising the bar. Don’t get complacent when you learn a skill. Improve on it. Set even higher standards for yourself as you progress.
  5. Commit to your high standards. Be selective about the company you keep, the situations you’re in, the work you do – if they’re not aligned with your goals, set them free.
  6. Embrace “kaizen” – the principle of continuous improvement. Work smarter, not just harder. “What can I do this time to improve on what I did last time?” Even small improvements add up. Do your best, and keep improving on that.
  7. Keep motivation and self-esteem high by delivering high value, and don’t be a martyr by giving more than you receive. The ideal is a fair exchange of value and compensation. Put yourself – your highest self – into your work and don’t reject receiving. This may require some digging into deeply-seated beliefs about scarcity, lack and self-worth. The easiest way to feel good about receiving fair compensation is to respect your work. Ask yourself, “would I buy this?” If you know you’re not doing your best, subconsciously you will reject abundance because of our hard-wired standards of fairness.
  8. Make a bigger contribution today than you did yesterday; and make tomorrow’s contribution bigger than today’s.
  9. Steve Pavlina said it best: “On the surface it may appear that hard work is in conflict with freedom. But the truth is that in order to extract real value from your freedom, you must make a serious effort. Freedom is a blank canvas. Hard work makes it a masterpiece.”

Working toward what you want, and doing work you love, does not feel like work. It feels like PURPOSE. That is the mind-set that will allow you to achieve great things.

***
Inspired by Steve Pavlina’s blog at www.stevepavlina.com/blog

Nov 08
Love0

How a Group is more Powerful than One!

By Blogpost, Goals

How have your beliefs shaped your attitude toward success?  Are you aware of the beliefs that sabotage your best efforts, even when you think you’re doing your “best”?

I’ve found that it’s far easier to identify and eliminate negative beliefs when you are in a group situation.  The reason for this is, that we are all so good at helping people solve their problems but not our own (think back to a time when you’ve helped a friend through any sort of personal crisis.)  We can see right through another person’s negative self-talk.  We hear what they say and we can point out that they’re coming from a place of lack and doubt.  We see what their actions are and we can help them redirect toward more productive actions.

But doing that for ourselves is nearly impossible.  We see what we want to see.  Our beliefs are so much a part of us that we don’t even realize they can be anything but what they are.  Since those beliefs came from past experiences and from the teachings of people close to us, they must be true… right?  Wrong!  If two people look at exactly the same current situation, they will have two very different perspectives.  Maybe one person has had a lifelong struggle with money; and the other person has always been surrounded by plenty.  Maybe one person was told they were incompetent and stupid; and the other person was too, yet there was something along their life journey that made them realize they aren’t stupid and incompetent, and their belief system changed accordingly.

We all choose to believe something (no matter the source).  It’s those choices that are readily visible to others, and practically invisible to ourselves.  We just think, “that’s the way it is” and don’t realize that we chose to feel a certain way, or to think and behave a certain way.

Maybe you’ve had a terrible experience as a salesperson, and that has clouded your perception of what it takes to be successful.  Someone in your group may have a way of selling your product or services, that you hadn’t even thought of, a way that really speaks to your comfort zone, something you believe is achievable…

Maybe you were always taught that “you can’t make money as an artist” or some such rubbish.  But you chose to believe it, because everyone around you was chanting the same tune.  So it must be true, right?

Maybe you’ve never been able to crack that elusive athletic barrier, and you chalk it up to some sort of physical limitations (because your parents/coaches/peers said something like, “oh, you’re just not that body type” or something like that?).  What if someone in your group can prove, just by his or her own experience, that what you hold as “absolute truth” is nothing but “absolutely nothing more than the way I choose to perceive this?”

Are you beginning to see how a group of individuals with the same goal in mind – that is, the achievement of their own personal goal(s) – can help each other?  You can call this your success group.

A success group isn’t there to point out each other’s shortcomings or belittle each other.  They are there to assist each other in several ways:  to illuminate what is holding you back; brainstorm with you on ways to overcome those self-imposed limitations; to support and encourage each other to grow, explore alternative ways to think/act, to hold each other accountable, and to help each other stay focused on success.

It doesn’t matter if everyone in your group has a goal that’s completely different from yours.  The bottom line is, in order to achieve something you haven’t achieved before, you must become the person who can.  That’s what groups are for.  Take several individuals, with completely different backgrounds, experiences, beliefs and “limitations”; bring them together under the guidance of a coach for the purpose of helping each other; and you have a powerful recipe for success.  Experiences and ideas are exchanged.  Empathy is built – “hey, I’ve been there too, and here’s what I did that really helped me…”  And you are surrounded by a group of people who believe very strongly in their dreams.  This supportive atmosphere will accelerate your achievements much faster than if you were to go it alone.

A stick is easily broken on its own, but a bundle cannot be broken.  If you’ve ever supported a friend or loved one, in any capacity, you know how powerful it is to have the support of others.  Think about the power of group consciousness and what it can do for your own success – and how extraordinarily rewarding it is to help others achieve their own success!

Nov 01
Love0

Being your best

By Blogpost, excellence

Are you being your best, and living your best life? You can, with a commitment to personal excellence.

But that can seem like a tall order (who has all the answers?), so let’s start with some simple questions to ask yourself.

“The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions.” – John Simone

I recommend taking some time to answer these questions because they will quickly get you to the core of who you are and why you’re here. Who you are, and why you’re here, are the keys to a happy, fulfilled and purposeful life. When you know the answers, personal excellence becomes a part of you. It becomes important because without personal excellence, you cannot be who you are meant to be or do what you are meant to do…

Many people walk around in an unconscious sleepwalking state, unaware of who they really are, living day to day with no direction or purpose. They are not really living – they are existing. But is that what you’re here to do? Are you a sleepwalker, or are you awakening from your slumber?

Signs of being a sleepwalker:

  • you are not aware of the big picture
  • you are not in alignment with your purpose
  • you allow your life to run on auto
  • you engage in non-value-added activities (“killing time”)
  • you are passive (playing the victim) or engage in avoidance
  • you have difficulty finding time to do things you love
  • you are not aware of your thoughts and emotions and how they can control you
  • you lack motivation or ambition

More than likely, you exhibit some of these traits but I suspect if you are reading this, then you already have an awareness that there is something more to life. So before you do anything else, grab some paper and pen and find out who you are and why you’re here.

Ready? Take the time to write down everything you can think of for each answer. Please do not edit what you wrote or skip ahead. Take them systematically one at a time.

  • If you had one year left to live, what would you do?
  • If you had one month left to live, what would you do?
  • If you have one week left to live, what would you do?
  • If you had one day left to live, what would you do?
  • If you had one hour left to live, what would you do?
  • If you had one minute left to live, what would you do?

The answers to these questions provide clarity on your purpose, and will guide you on your road to personal excellence. They will give you motivation to act on your priorities.

It takes a certain amount of courage to answer these honestly! It’s tempting to answer with things that you think you should do, things that other people deem important (for example, a popular “must do” on many people’s list is to travel to…). But if you have other priorities, then putting “visit the Great Wall” is not honoring who you are!

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to list what YOU WANT. If you can’t be truthful with yourself about what you want, you cannot live the life you’re meant to live.

Once you’ve identified your “who” and “why”, you will know what you need to improve in yourself in order to achieve them.

Personal_and_professional_coaching_1_

Adapted from various entries on the Personal Excellence Blog by Celestine Chua, celstinechua.com

Oct 25
Love0

Adopting great habits

By Blogpost, habits

Remember when you were learning to drive, and you had to think about every single action you took to make the car go? Remember how overwhelming that seemed at first? Now when you drive, how much conscious thought do you devote to your physical actions when you’re driving (clutch, shift, brake, signal, etc.)? Probably not much. All those years of practice have paid off – now you operate the car subconsciously and turn your attention to more unpredictable matters like traffic!
 

How many other habits have you developed over the years? Do you even think about how you brush your teeth or the actions of getting dressed? Do you ever think about the mechanics of walking and the communication that’s going on between your brain and your legs? Do you have a habit of procrastinating when it comes to doing things you don’t want to do? Do you have conditioned responses to certain situations?
 

Habits are nature’s brilliant way of allowing us to operate without having to make any conscious mental effort to make it happen, freeing us up to think about new or unfamiliar things. Habits are nothing more than actions repeated over and over until they become subconscious. Just as we have motor habits (walking, for example) we also have thought habits.
 

Thought habits can be beneficial, but they can also be very damaging to your goals. Procrastination is an avoidance habit that your brain uses to prevent the possibility of harm. Your brain’s main job is to keep you safe. Take yourself out of your safe zone by doing things that are new, and your brain says “whoa, this could be dangerous!” and releases chemicals that create negative emotions about the new activity and entice you to go right back to where you feel comfortable.
 

But, as you know, you can’t get “there” by repeating the same behaviors that got you “here.”
 

So it’s time to bring out the whip and the chair and tame that unruly beast of a brain, right? Yes – only it doesn’t need to be that dramatic!
 

Developing new habits (habits that actually serve you) is just as easy as developing bad habits. You simply have to repeat certain thought patterns until they embed in your subconscious. The problem lies in becoming aware of the thought patterns that need eliminating. Can you listen to yourself objectively? Can you see past your inner self-talk (designed to make you feel good about staying right where you are!) and deliberately make yourself think different thoughts? This is not something that’s easy to do on your own. Identifying the thought-habits that hold you back is much easier when you can talk to someone trained to spot your habitual negative thoughts and help you formulate a plan to move you past them.
 

Try an experiment for the next 45 days. Every day, write in your journal the opposite of a belief and negative thought pattern you have. For example, if you are shy about asking for money for your services, write in your journal, “People see the value in what I’m giving, they gladly pay for it, and I receive it gratefully. This is how it should be.” Or something like that, in your own words. You have to write this every single day for 45 days. If you miss a day, you must start over! This is similar to experiments done by brain scientists to figure out the precise moment when a thought becomes a thought-habit. It takes somewhere between 30 and 45 days for a new thought to become a thought-habit, and you must be consistent about it. Stick to 45 days, just for good measure.
 

What’s going to happen at the end of those 45 days? You will start feeling worthy of the money you receive for your services. You will be bolder when asking for fair compensation. You will actually attract more customers or clients because you will project confidence in yourself (and you will be perceived as having more to offer than if you short-change yourself!)
 

Building these new neural pathways takes time and persistence. Your new thoughts will lead to new beliefs, and new actions. Then, watch your results go through the roof!

Oct 18
Love0

Influences

By Blogpost, Goals, inspirations

Influences

What influences your outlook on life and your goal-setting? Experiences, family, friends, education, society, and religion all have had some impact on your outlook and your goal-setting. You may be aware of some influences but others may be buried deep in your subconscious. How do you unearth the hidden beliefs you had no conscious idea cause you to think and behave a certain way?

Here’s a game you can play: think about a really big goal of yours, and allow all of your emotions to come into the light. Pay attention to all of them. It’s really important to allow all of them, especially the negative ones, surface. Don’t deny any emotion because it’s a clear signal that there is some underlying belief that will probably cause you to take actions to sabotage yourself. This is one of those situations where talking about these emotions with a coach can be helpful. You’ll need an objective point of view to counter all the rationalizations and excuses that will come up – and they will!
 

Are your emotions surrounding money positive, negative or neutral? How about your emotions about your self-worth? Or your importance? Or your attractiveness?
 

So pay attention to the negative emotions, and think back to what influenced those feelings in you. It can be hard to dig up those old memories, but if you’re going to move forward, you’ll have to make yourself do it. Just the once is enough! Once those old memories are out in the open, you can let those emotions go.
 

The thing is (and again, you may need an objective set of ears) you really have to decide once and for all that you choose to NOT be influenced by what happened in the past. You have to decide that you do NOT agree with what people said about you or to you, or did to you. I’m going to say right now that this is not an easy process! But at the same time, once you’ve done it, it’s incredibly liberating.
 

You are not the person you were then! You’ve evolved, you’ve experienced other things. You know that you can choose whether to react or respond to some negative thing/person. You can choose to accept a person’s unkindness and let it become part of your belief system – or not! You can choose to let painful experiences become part of your belief system – or not!
 

As a simple example, let’s say your mother-in-law says disapproving things about your parenting. You can choose to let it ruin your day… or not. You can choose to let her opinion become part of your belief system… or not.
 

If Tom had always been told that he is incompetent and lazy, chances are that he subconsciously agreed with it. But did he become incompetent and lazy because he truly was, or because it was drilled into his head by his parents? Let’s say he just found out that he had a choice whether to agree with his parents – and he chose to disagree with them. What do you think happened?
 

Everything we do as adults has a “past”. Everything is influenced by something that happened in the past, or something we learned. The real beauty of the situation is that once you know this, you can choose to agree with other people’s beliefs. You can also choose to agree with your reactions to situations and follow those old patterns for ever, or not. You can look at beliefs you accepted and decide whether you agree with them or not. How liberating! It’s not easy to break free and follow your own beliefs (the ones NOT borrowed from others or from past experiences). But the rewards are beyond anything you can possibly accomplish while you agree to be bound by the past.

 

Oct 11
Love0

Overcoming Doubt and Other Negativity

By Attitude, Blogpost


You know by now that negative thoughts lead to negative actions and result inevitably in negative results. So when your goal is looming frighteningly large (“how can I possibly…?”), how do you keep those paralyzing negative thoughts at bay? How do you reprogram your own mind to avoid those destructive thoughts?
 

And where do you turn for help? Who can help you reprogram your habitual negative thought processes?
 

One of the best places for support in this area is a group of people who, like you, are in the process of achieving some pretty grand goals. I’ve mentioned before, that other people can see right through your own rationalizations and other negative self-talk. Your support team will help redirect you to thinking the way you need to think; ultimately, you have to learn how to take full control of your mind, and it’s a much easier journey when you don’t go it alone.
 

If you let your thoughts run wild with negativity like “I can’t”, “I don’t have time”, “it costs too much to get started”, you can bet that your resulting actions will NOT move you closer to your goal. Thoughts always result in action (even inaction is action!). Taking control of your mind means that your prevailing thought patterns become those of “I can”, “I am being wiser with my time management and I have plenty of time to work on my goal”, and “I’m finding creative ways to finance my dreams” (and so on). And just as sure as saying “I can’t” results in you doing nothing, “I can” results in you trying new ways to accomplish something. So where does the group come in?
 

First, you can see that you’re not the only one in this situation. Your group knows exactly what you’re going through! Second, you can spot each other’s negative streaks and in a cooperative spirit, help each other redirect those thoughts. Third, by meeting consistently to talk and brainstorm about your goals, thoughts of success (“I can”) become firmly entrenched in your mind. Can you think of other reasons why surrounding yourself with people who support you will have positive results?
 

Let’s say you have one friend who’s the one you go to when you talk about your goals – that one, wonderful, non-judgmental, unconditionally-loving friend who’s always encouraging you… how wonderful to have someone like that! Does this friend allow you to wallow in self-pity when you can’t do something right away? No. Your friend encourages you to try again, or try another way. Does this friend agree with your negative self-talk? No. That raised eyebrow says it all, doesn’t it? Does this friend agree with your excuses and rationalizations? No. The eyebrow is still raised! Does this friend say “oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be?” Of course not! Your friend has far more faith in you than you have in yourself – and it’s contagious, and soon you’ll come to have that faith too!
 

Now, imagine this positive energy multiplied by ten.
 

“It wasn’t meant to be” becomes “I created it.” “I don’t think I can” becomes “I’m becoming the person who CAN”… and then, truly, miracles happen. There is also a snowball effect as the energy of your group becomes more positive. You’ll begin to feed off each other’s enthusiasm and successes. You’ll take such massive action that all negativity will simply vaporize… and this will fuel the fire of passion, creativity, desire and dedication to your goal. In an atmosphere like that, success is inevitable!
 

Negativity becomes a thing of the past when you’re surrounded by other people who think they can… and think YOU can.